Today is the day, I’m surrendered my pain! Indeed. As said earlier in my previous posting, I’m suffering fighting day and night with the pain on my arm. Nothing is easy for me, telling myself to be more positive day by day. Last night was a lil bit hard for me, my emotional was fighting harder with the pain. I still remember what doctor told me earlier, the tumors will disappear by itself. But don’t know how long it going to take, one year? Two years or more. I have no clue. The signs doesn’t show any of improvement of dissolving. Giving up?!!! I should have done it long time ago but I still hoping the miracle will come one fine day. Inshallah..
Since I’m working with a healthcare company, I decided to go for an xtray for my arm. Yeah maybe I can see myself what is going on in there! Started with the fatty Pathology, she did advise me for few test. Hrmmm again...blood test for the tumors remark, I really don't understand all those medical terms seems I’m not in this field. She’s asking me for CA 125, CA 153, CEA tests + 2 more test which I can’t remember exactly what they called it. From what I understand those test meant to measure cancer antigen in blood and to monitor early signs of cancer. Hrmmm it’s sounds scary but yeahh it is actually.
I had completely done the whole test within an hour, honestly I’m not feeling good on what I have done for the day. There’s thousand possibilities could happen, I’m totally messed. I was crying alone thinking of what will be the result tomorrow. Can I take it if the results not as what I was hoping? I really want to know the main cause of the pain lately, knowing it wasn’t that easy for me but I have no choice rather than leaving my life prolonged with the pain or figure out what is the best way to get rid of the pain.
Ya’Allah...please tell me something I don’t know, please make me stronger than yesterday.
