2.15am... I'm still awake, cleaning up my closet. Half of the box has being filled by all my skirts and some of the dresses has been removed out and probably will put it on my preloved site for sale. No more sexy dress, daring appearance or skirts for me, my time is over! There's much more to go, the whole entire closet is full of clothes. This is seriously nightmare, I'm totally lost counts how much money has been spent for all this, well insane and running out of my mind! 😔
I just like others being an ordinary lady with my desire but somehow there's a time I'm a bit out of control. I earned and spent to rewards myself with anything I want. From a wardrobe until I utilized my secondary room just for the closet, the place where I spent for the clothes, make ups, handbags, perfumes and many more. And the only place I can dumped everything everywhere and no one will making noise for the messed. This is the consequences when nobody is stopping you from doing whatever you want, at the end we have to bear with whatever we have done! Bottom line we need someone in life to advise what do and don't. Padan muka sendiri! 😫
This is what we called "nafsu", getting more on I wanted than what I really need. This couldn't be prolonged anymore, damaged has been done hoping things will change and I won't repeat the same mistakes again. I'm not sure how long more I should spend seating in this closet, the clothes seemed never ending. I'm trying to make it simple and neat on my new appearance, that will be my main focus now on. Heading to only one direction to ensure I'm not going to waste for unnecessary things like before..
My mind was horribly empty, but I couldn't close my eyes even I was sleepy. Is this what I really want in life? There's a darkness inside of me, silent depression, anxiety and weakness...I don't want to repeat the same mistakes I did before. I am seeking for a strength, Ya'Allah, help me to remove all the burden to my soul, my heart is too heavy. It's hard to understand your plans but please help me as I need to carry on...
