Tuesday, September 12, 2017

counting time

I only worked just for 1 hour today 😬.. attending late breakfast meeting nearby mamak restaurant nearby my office and dropped by the office for while before I left to PD. Nothing is happening in PD anyway, i just feel like to take a long drive today, I was thinking of going to Terengganu yesterday but due to a very long distance drive and unplanned trip I decided to put it on hold first. I really want to meet Tito, I remembered last I'm visiting him was 2 years back. I need to talk to him so badly, I want him to know my heart was horribly broken and hurts. Things are not according to what I wish, life is hurting me so bad. I don't want to repeat the same mistakes again. 

If only people know this, they may think I went crazy.🙄 Missing and talking to someone that has gone long time ago. I'll never forgotten him even a second in my life, he was everywhere in my mind. He is the one that in my mind when I was upset... the only person that left me when I need him the most. Leaving me unknown but still alive deep in my heart. So much things to remember, he is the only friend and heartbeat that never stop beating and make me still feel alive. Hrmmm I miss you Tito, I miss you so much... 😔

I'll come to visit you as soonest as I could, that's my promised. If only I could describe in words, I would love too but the feeling seems alive each time I get hurts.🙁😥 no one like you, they just being too egotistical and heartless. They make me feel so numb, my heart has gone away and I'm totally lost those feelings. 

Once again, I've probably step into a wrong decision in life at this age..but I knew it's too late for me to regrets on what has been done...decisions has been made, I'll go as what they wish for. I have lost my strength to fights, to stand on my own way of living. Pretending I could smile again like yesterday, I wish would be able to pursue everything wisely without regret. 😶 let's this be the last to make life more valuable and remarkable.... allows me for the last time, because I know you are always want to see me smile again just like those days even you're not here next to me. 😥

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