Tuesday, February 09, 2016

Landed safely

I'm getting bloated and well-cooked after a long haul flight. No one will enjoy a long uncomfortable journey. At last after 13.5hour flight I have safely landed at London Heathrow airport at 4.30pm. Hello drizzly London! Don't shower to much while I'm here please. 

The skies was cloudy and dark but time showing not even 5pm evening. Looking for those public transportation offered by this beautiful country, I was end up with the famous old but cute black cab heading to the hotel that I have booked earlier. It's okay to pay a lil bit more as long as it's comfy and safe. It took me 45min from the airport to reach the Berjaya Eden Park Hotel in Bayswater, Hyde Park.

Wet and windy evening, the temperature was 8° celsius. Can't wait to reach the hotel quickly, I need a hot shower and well sleep on proper bed so I won't feel nightly on daytime. Travelling across beating the time zones really tiredness and make me feel so groggy. 

Dear Allah, I won't be forgotten you where ever I am. Thank for a safe journey flight and keep me healthy, thanks again for make my life better than others. I feel grateful for loving me all time, I may not have everything I desire but I'm blessed enough to have all that I need. Once again, I apologise for all my wrong doing. I'm truly grateful for all you've done. 

Alhamdullilah, for everything. For the good and bad and everything in between. Please help me to take a good care of all my loves one.


Monday, February 08, 2016

Thank you Allah

Getting ready to depart to the airport, I was 'tido² ayam' since last night. Well, I don't want to miss things for the second time. Hrmmm no no not once but many times! The moment I reached the airport almost 8am, my mind start squeezing I can't stop thinking about you. The moment that you were here most of time when I'm traveling but today you wasn't there like before. I misses you the most I guess, but nothing much I can do to bring you back to believe everything. Fighting with your own feeling ain't easy as said.  

Dear Allah, please help me..I don't want him to popping up in my mind again. Allow me Allah to keep on moving without any interference anymore at least. I need a better life and someone who know to appreciate me. Even though not from someone that who I may call a lover but at least from someone that I called a true friend. Not just come and take things for granted for my kindness. It was my big mistake, I used to be nice but realising that I can't be too nice anymore. Enough of bullshitting, let myself move forward ahead without anyone around me. I should be fine. 

Believe in fade, things happen for a reason. One door close means there will be another are still open for me. I just need a companion but not looking for a further husband or life long soulmate! At this point I should be able to decide between what I need and what I want. Perhaps if I'm lucky I will find that someone who can saves me and change everything. 

Okay than, 13.5hours to go. It's time to freeze myself in the long flight. Bon voyage!  

Saturday, February 06, 2016

Heart sick

Red alert! This is life....we always fall for the person that will never fall for us, always want something we can't have and always say things we shouldn't. There's a things that we don't want to happen but have to accept, things that we don't want to know but we have to learn, and people we can't live without but have to let go. 

Sometimes we just have to let go of someone who matters to us... not because we have to but because it's right thing to do. But let us remember that we can't force anyone to love us. We can't beg someone to stay when they want to leave and be someone else. This is what love all about. However, the end of love is not the end of life. It should be the beginning of understanding that everything leaves for a reason, but leave with a lesson. 

I'm all alone again, knowing that being happy is a fundamental to fulfilling life. Having everything in life won't bring me anywhere. I may smiles and be good with people surrounding but they won't be there for me whenever I need them the most. 

Friends, they will be with me when I was there to smiles..Family, nothing much I could proud except feel thankful for my existence. Nothing more.. only Allah knows where I was standing between friends and family. Love one, I don't have any. Age factor or maybe I had enough of insincere people around where I don't have the trust anymore. 

Life are so routine everyday. Meeting, managing and convincing people, pretty much but in many ways. Time constrains, I'm learning to appreciate myself more than others. I eventually stop myself from accepting people get into my heart, but they may just deserve the companion. That's the only thing I can promised. I devoted myself with works more than I'm supposed todo. Work hard to reward myself with whatever I desire. As when I was up, it's never as good as it seems, and when I were down I was fighting to get back again but life must go on. 

I'm done with feeling alone, it's because I realize that I'm not really alone and everybody has experiences the same time to time. Knowing hows the rock bottom feels like, and how shitty it's feels to disappoint someone we care about. With the broken heart fallen short of something and trying accomplish with insecurities alive just because it look like having it all together, but doesn't mean I actually do. I'm really out of freaking mind! 

Urghhh... I was fall asleep on my couch while updating my blog, the whole entire house was bright with all lights on! I'm awake just after I heard the early morning 'Azan' from the mosque nearby. I just want to  go to my room get into my blanket, free my mind and vape on before rolling myself on my bed. 


Thursday, February 04, 2016

The urgency not her priority!

Hurmmm.... I don't want to yell or putting people in difficulty of doing things. I really has to hold myself from raising my voice but I doubt I be able to keep my anger if I have to deal with unnecessary slowness. My luck wasn't there today, she's ruined my morning mood + I'm not a morning person neither. I have to scolded one of my account personnel for delayed my claims. The claims has been approved since last 3weeks ago and she keep on promised to issue the reimbursement soon. And yet until today I didn't receive anything from her, I have no idea what actually stopping her of issuing the cheque. Somehow don't questioning me if the boss has approved and I'm being paid for all stated! 

I am still tolerable and able to listen to any of the hassle which cause of the delayed. But to accept a silly mistake or stupid working practice are really not acceptable! She's simply said that there's a miscalculation from my claims! What the hell she's being taking about? What the point of having them around if they can't correct those mistake?! I'm being doing this since last 6-7years back, yes we may make a mistake but what make her took so long to encountered the calculation?! What actually she's trying to say? Or just an excuses for delaying the process or to cover up her mistake?!

This was really pissed me off and make my blood pressure running up down again. What is in her mind by putting such excuses to delay the payment! I'm not trying to be too calculative but have to remember one thing responsibility should comes first to proof your ability. In this case shes just being too lazy and taking her own sweet time doing things without considering others urgency. Urghhhh 

The way she's handle her work are really beyond the standard! Her slowness are beginning to get on my nerves yet to talk about things that not in my plate. I'm supposed to get my cheque today together with the rest of the cheque for my suppliers due to her laziness I have to wait for tomorrow. Will see either she will make it happen or I have to make my way to speed up the process. Either way it's going to happen! Hoping thing will be ready as promise as I need them so badly for my trip next week. 

Sorry, I'm not trained to deal with an idiot!